It had happened before. A friend of a friend has a friend who is pregnant and thinking of adoption. When I got the email a year ago this week I was cautious. My heart was guarded like I had taught it to be.
Hello, where are you all in your adoption process? Have you been matched with a birth mom? My mom knows someone who is thinking of giving her baby up for adoption.
I contacted my husband and asked if he thought it was okay to say what we usually say. “We’re open to whatever God wants. We’ll take it as far as He will allow.” My husband quickly said yes. Fast-forward to today. I’m listening to my son playing upstairs in his crib, his final adoption court date just a few months away. His little eight-month mind and heart only knows love from us, his mommy and daddy.
For years we waited on the gift we felt God had called us to: parenthood. But instead we were given the gift of infertility. I call it a gift because that’s what it is. Elisabeth Elliot, the wife of slain missionary Jim Elliot said this of her gift of 40+ years of singleness, “But we do not choose our gifts, remember? We are given them by a divine Giver who knows the end from the beginning, and wants above all else to give us the gift of Himself.” That’s how we chose to believe. And in our almost 14 years of infertility, my husband and I have faithfully (not perfectly) been able to serve God wherever He has taken us. We’ve had a joyous time of loving and serving our Lord in the midst of broken promises, disappointments, and the heartache of failed adoptions.
I’ll never forget reading Psalm 84 one day and coming to verse 11, “For the Lᴏʀᴅ God is a sun and shield; the Lᴏʀᴅ will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” My heart wrestled for a moment on the last words, “no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” But God, haven’t we walked uprightly before you? Haven’t we been faithful to the call before us? Then I noticed the word that I almost skipped over––good. I realized I want to think that God’s “good” looks the same as my limited idea of good. But we know that His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8–9). He is doing far bigger and greater things in and through our lives for His glory than we could ever see. Share this Post
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